I still haven't heard back on the job front yet, but its only afternoon Monday, and 'early next week' means Monday or Tuesday! I'm nervous...moving on.
One of the things I have been most worried about since we knew we were moving to Sydney late last year was finding friends.
Its so easy to make new friends when you move to a new school or go to university - you are all experiencing it together and its almost like insta-friends, just add water!! But when you move to a new city, its a whole new kettle of fish.
A few years ago we had a lovely person come to work with us. She was from Australia and had moved to Dunedin with her partner while he finished off his last year of uni. She knew no one. I knew she knew no one and knew she was doing lots of different things to try to meet people, so I therefore assumed she was fine and happy.
As it came time for her to leave Dunedin and return back to Australia with her partner, she told me she had really struggled to find close friends and that she really hadn't enjoyed her stay as much as she thought she might. It didn't help that her partner worked on the weekends which meant she had no one to keep her company.
When I heard this, my heart sunk. I knew she knew no one when she arrived, but because I had my own friends and my own life, it had never occurred to me that she didn't have any of that. After she told me this, I went about trying to make her last few months as happy as possible, going to lunch and movies etc.
The thing is, I very much liked this girl. We had lots in common and I really would have loved to have seen her more. The big mistake I made was that I didn't want to seem intrusive and throw myself at her and into her life, inviting her to this, that and the other thing. Looking back on it, and being in the same situation myself - I should have smothered the girl with invites to do fun things!
Entering into a friendship with someone who is already settled and already has a circle of close friends they love and see regularly is daunting. Will your friend invite you into the circle? Will the circle accept you? Will they like you? Will you like them?
I've known a few lovely ladies who have moved to brand new places knowing no one. The settling in trend seems to be the same:
1-4 months - Love it, its so exciting and new and wonderful - so many things to do, so many places to see.
4-8 months - Hate it, I know no one, no one wants to be my friend, I just want to go home.
8-12 months - Like it, I have a few friends and I am finally settling in.
I haven't hit the 'hating it' stage yet because there is too much to see and do, and finding a job has been foremost on my mind. But I know that I will soon get lonely. Its strange to think you can be lonely in a city that is bigger, population wise, than all of New Zealand.
And while I am very lucky to have David to go through all of this with (I'd probably be a mess otherwise), a girl also needs her girlfriends - who else is she going to see the Sex in the City movie with when it comes out in June?
I have this blog to thank for putting me in touch with some really lovely people who are in Sydney though - people I would have probably never met otherwise. In fact, I'm going to a Vintage fair this weekend with one of them.
But this is still a big issue for me at the moment - I know I need to be proactive and put myself out there, no body will know I am looking for friends if I don't tell them. So, do you have any tips or tricks for me to try out? Or should I just start wearing a sign saying 'Will you be my friend?'.